The first, which is totally unrelated to this blog, was when I begged and pleaded Shane to help keep the party going at the reception by dancing. Shane looked at me as if I was asking him to castrate himself with a butter knife. If you know Shane for 0.1 seconds, you can pretty much deduce that he doesn't dance. But when I mentioned that if he did this one thing, I would NEVER ask him to dance again, he glided with urgency to the center of the dance floor. What happened next was the most fantastic display of awesomeness that I have ever seen from my husband. He sprinklered, bus-stopped, stanky legged and Roger Rabbited the night away like some sort of MC Hammer on crack!. He had moves that put Beyonce to shame...moves that seemed as if they were reserved for that very moment, never to return again! It was incredible. And when the clock struck midnight and the party was over, my dancing king promptly returned to his pre-reception self. And he has NEVER danced again. And every time I even think about asking him to revive some of his now-infamous moves, he quickly reminds me of our pact. And how he will never, EVER do it again. In my opinion, humanity has lost one of it's greatest entertainers. In his opinion, it was the best pact we (HE) ever made.
The second moment occurred when we got back to our honeymoon suite. Have no fear...I'm keeping this PG. I sat down on the bed, resting my feet and reflecting on what an incredible night it had been. Shane sat next to me and sighed. I waited to hear what he would say. Was he about to tell me how beautiful I looked walking down the aisle? Was he going to say how happy he was to be spending the rest of his life with me? Or maybe he would tell me that he had so much fun dancing that he was reconsidering our deal? I waited.... "Did you know that in 2009 the Dolphins are playing the Jaguars in Jacksonville? We totally have to go!" Now I know that as you are reading this, 2009 seems like a not-so-distant memory. But people, this was FIVE years ago! We didn't know where we would be, what we would be doing, or whether or not we would have children, but Shane KNEW that for the first time in his life he was living in Florida and that come hell or high water we were going to see the Dolphins play in 2009. I should have known at that very moment that here was something strangely odd about Shane's relationship with the Miami Dolphins and football in general. I mean, who knows the schedule five years out? My husband does. I should have known.
So this brings me to my actual post. Five years, two houses, one redhead, and NO dances later, we found ourselves at THE GAME. Yes, my friends, thanks to my Dad's resourcefulness and my frugality, we were able to get our hands on two club seat tickets on the 50 yard line at the only price that I will EVER pay to attend an NFL game...Free!
It was even slightly more underwhelming than I had imagined. With my husband in his element, and I by his side, we experienced the NFL at its finest. The game began with the jaguar mascot attempting to bungee jump from the 50 yard line. It was a meager attempt at getting the crowd amped up for the game by having some furry big-headed creature hurl himself over the football field. It may have worked, but he got stuck and hung upside down for about 5 minutes before anyone realized that the pregame entertainment was a flop and went up to get him down. I actually found it to be the most entertaining part of the game!
The game however, left me wanting more. In fact, after the first 5 seconds of the game, I began to think of ways to kill time. I casually scanned the sparse crowd, and I found the people to be more entertaining than the actually game! Take, for instance, this guy:
There is no zoom on this lens, my friends. I got a front row seat at this man's show. And oh, what a show it was! He first caught my eye with this fantastic hat. Somewhere, someone told him that this was a good idea. But it was his dedication to the game that kept my attention. He cheered, jeered, pointed, and booed. He was dedicated to getting the fifteen people in our section to stand for EVERY third down, and he chanted "DE-FENSE!" with such conviction that I almost joined in myself. My favorite part? The combination of the leopard-skin hat and the old-man Flat-butt syndrome accentuated by 1987 Lee jeans. Saweet!!! He made such a statement, in fact, that others decided to follow suit!
Or how about this guy? I was just about to congratulate him on his uncanny resemblance to Will Smith in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air when I realized that the sun was noticeably more prominent on the our right hand side. But perhaps it was his own throwback style. So progressive! So retro! So.....distracting me from the game!
And just as my mind burst into song with "In West Philadelphia born and raised.." I noticed that one of the Jaguars Roar Dancers was an old high school friend. So then I spent a large portion of the second quarter reading about her in the media guide. A few more crowd observations, two diet cokes, four restroom breaks, and a couple of touchdowns later, the game was over. I had done it! I had survived my first (and hopefully last) NFL game. Success! And here's the picture of the happy couple to prove it. Please note my teal and orange....Go Phins! Hehe.
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