1. This kid. is. a-freakin-dorable. Now let me tell you, I'll be the first to admit that mothers are often blinded by love. It's God's way of making sure that every baby is loved and accepted....even the ugly ones....c'mon I'm just kidding. A little. But, man-oh-man. This little man is 17lbs 11oz of chunky-dunky cuteness. And on the first day of the last year of my life in my 20's (that's my 29th birthday for you slow-learners), he busted out with this.
And not to be outdone, the redhead has some tricks up her sleeve that make her irresistable herself. Check this out. Just don't ask me how Shane got his voice that high.
2. It's October 28th and I don't have a pumpkin for my kids. There. I said it. I'm a terrible mom and my kids will grow up to be delinquents and rob banks and they'll blame me for never giving them appropriate holiday festivities. They'll be on Barbara Walters drowning in their tear-filled psychoanalyses, and I'll be wishing I had just bought the freakin thing and spared all the drama. I think I'll take a trip to Publix in the morning and get a pumpkin. But are there any long-lasting social ramifications for missing out on a pumpkin patch? Argh!
3. My patients never cease to amaze me. For the record....women(and men for that matter), your babies come from a different hole than your pee. So don't ask me when you get your catheter how your baby is going to come out. Please don't.
4. Peanut the wonder weenie is killing me. Somehow, despite being blind, deaf, and unable to smell, she manages to escape from the backyard approximately three times a day. Problem is, she doesn't know how to get back. I'm pretty sure if there is a DCF for dogs, they are coming after me. My dog has been found wandering the streets (probably in circles since she is blind, deaf, and can't smell) of Gainesville more times than I would like to admit. It's a pitiful walk of shame for me walking to the door to receive her from my evil-eyed neighbors who look at me as if to say, "What kind of heartless, hateful person leaves a poor blind dog all alone on the streets? You animal killer, you!" I smile and politely thank them, shut the door, and prompty scold the wonder weenie. But she doesn't care. She can't hear me.
5. I had a 77 year old (I'm gonna go with slightly demented) patient that I operated on last week. She made us all hold hands in the operating room around her bed to pray. As an air of discomfort filled the room, one resident suggested that perhaps we should pray to ourselves. "No!" she said, forcefully. "You will all pray out loud. I'll start." And, with her dentures removed for her impending surgery and all of the surgeons, anesthesiologists, and OR staff holding hands, she said, "Dear sweet Jesus, I pway for my tu-mah. I want to live thuhty more years so that I can live to be wit my pure-bred long haired siamese cat, Christ, who I named after my Lord and Saviah. He's such a good cat."
6. I need a bucket list. A real one. Because right now my goals include things like making sure I remember to brush my teeth, making a new baby food, and making sure my kids leave the house in something semi-seasonally appropriate. But I want some cool ones. So here are a few.
-Visit Yosemite
-Run a marathon
-Go on a zipline tour somewhere cool
-stop biting my nails
-Go on a girls trip
-Take Shane to the NFL hall of fame
-Take a photography class
-Deliver babies in a third world country
That's enough for now....I'll keep thinking on this one
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